Hi, My name is Haydee ("Dee")

I created this Web Site in Memory of my brother, Michael.  This memorial site originally started as a 3 page memorial and then it started growing with all my sleepless nights.  

I lost my brother, Michael on June 19th, 1999. He had just turned 21, 5 days before he died.

Being a Bereaved Sibling is a life time event.

It's a very difficult situation to deal with and we don't have any other choice than to learn how to live with it.

Now that it's been over 6 years that my brother passed away, I can explain what losing a sibling can be compared to. At first, the grief is like a wound. It's open, bleeding. With time it heals, but from the inside out. Eventually the pain is less and then it becomes a scar. That scar will always be there but it's not as painful as when you had the open wound. That's the easiest way I could explain it. I know this explanation doesn't help aleviate your pain but just give it time, you'll see.

I couldn't believe that my open wound would ever become a scar but it did. I believe that once my wound became a scar, I was at the point that I had finally accepted that I had lost my brother. I believe that you can be in denial for years, especially if you keep everything inside. I also knew I had reached that point because I had said that I would get a tattoo in memory of my brother and I finally did the summer of 2005- right after his 5th year anniversary.

Everyone of course deals with their situation differently. 

One of the ways that helped me deal with it, was by making this memorial site. As I mentioned before, I spent many sleepless nights trying to figure out how to do it.  After I learned enough to get me by, then I decided to go back to school and take classes. It became an obsession, I'd say. I wanted to keep learning more and more to add to my brother's memorial site. I even got certified as a web designer. It was like I wanted to do it for Michael.

During the course of the first 5 years of dealing with my brother's death, it also put a strain on my relationship as well. You can probably say, it ruined it. I also lost my Mom on September 2004. She was diagnosed with Ovarian cancer on September 2003 and died one year later. It was also a very tough year for me. My partner at the time (we were living together) didn't know how to deal with me. In my case, my dark cloud had a silver lining. I found someone that I truly love and I remarried. We even had a baby on March of 2006.

 It also helped me very much to start a Support Group.  I've met many friends that have helped me along the way, so I would like to do the same for others.

  It is very depressing to have a huge hole in our hearts, and have no one to talk to about it. Talking about it is very important, don't keep anything inside because I believe that it will take you longer to go through the healing process. I have found it to be more comforting when you can talk to someone that knows exactly how you are feeling.

For example, someone that is in the "same shoes".

We were all brought together by the horrible deaths of our brothers and sisters, and together we can comfort each other.

I created this site for all of us, Surviving Siblings

I'm glad you stopped by to visit my site. Thanks!

Please feel free to express your feelings and thoughts. "Remember, we are all in this together." 

Please take some time to view my brother's Memorial pages.

I want to thank all of his friends that gave me support during this difficult time in my life. I'm sure my brother is looking down and knows who you are.

I hope to be adding a lot more pages to this Web Site, I just don't have enough time to do everything that I would like to do.

I hope you enjoy the site.  If you find any errors, please do not hesitate to email the webmaster below. 

Thanks, and come back soon!